Believe it or Not

Believe it or not television newsmagazine says fact more gun dealers than gas stations United States 1992.
Similar program 1999 says Hollywood Silicon Valley responsible for child murderers Arkansas Colorado.

Nietzsche says art more valuable than truth.
Weinstein says truth unavailable for comment regarding Nietzsche.

Astronomers physicists ecstatics claim universe infinite–Ginsberg declares mind outer space 1986.
Magazine editors say poetry must meet guidelines must confine itself to 8 &1/2 inch width and human language.

Forwarded electronic messages say here funny these ancient jokes unearthed recycled.
Postmaster General says e-mails cost $230,000,000 estimated lost revenue per year, suggests new levies–believe it or not!

Howard Stern says things makes American millions Al D’Amato laugh makes housewives evangelists uncomfortable embarrassed.
Weinstein’s mother says things make Weinstein embarrassed, says Mark don’t ride subways late at night, offers cabfare, noshes wrapped in tinfoil.

Lubavitchers say moschiach come next twohundredforty years or else big trouble.
Weinstein says moschiach eternal macguffin falling down all thirtynine steps.

Trotsky says Darwinism + Leninism = Stalinism.
Stalin says Trotsky a nuisance sends spies to Mexico dig through Jew’s typewriter wastebasket.

Mayakovsky post-revolutionary 1928 says girls partial to poets.
Weinstein 1999 says U.S. girls prefer movieproducers optionstraders benchpress gorillas–believe it or not!

Fortune cookie east side takeout says your artistic talents win the approval, applause of others.
Bonus fortune same cookie says for better luck wait until winter.

Party bodyguard Quan Yanchi says Mao likes stewed pork best.
Mao says his biggest mistake the bourgeois wife.

Ted Kacsinsky (FC) 1995 says technology destroyed humanity, man’s autonomy over the power process.
New York Times May 1999 says Kacsinsky attempts suicide self asphyxiation with own underpants.

Ginsberg says he writes poetry because he wants to be alone yet still wants to talk to people.
Manhattan Review, Grand Street writing faculty University of Michigan say no thanks Weinstein we’re not listening, please limit future submissions to five pages and only once a year.

Environmentalists politicians campus activists say save the forests United States Northwest reuse paper.
Weinstein threatens action snatches poems from out hands performs C.P.R. spontaneous compositions on backpages, official road poet chainsaw athletics.

Believe it or not Discovery Channel says/demonstrates it takes twelve men to hold down a crocodile.
CNN says look to history Eastern Europe Russia Balkans one man can stifle an entire continent.

Weinstein’s father says one time Willie Mays bodyslammed Elio Chacon during a game no joke–Mickey Mantle never did that!
Weinstein says only twentythree all my heroes save Dylan Phil Simms dead buried presently unrivaled.

Believe it or not in France the unemployed went on strike.
In the States pro wrestler ex-seal turns up gopher Governor.
Truth not only stranger than fiction, also funnier.

Believe it or not, Robert Ripley received more mail than Santa Claus 1930s.