Across the Miles
By Lauren Levin Pelissier
About a year-and-a-half ago, my husband, Mike, and I packed up our Honda Prelude and headed for the Sunshine State, leaving the dreary winters of New Jersey behind. With that, I left practically all of my family, friends, and aquaintences behind, too. I didn't see the miles as a problem, seeing as airline rates were relatively cheap and it really only takes a day if you decide to drive straight through. As I am a very family-oriented person, I rationalized and made these two excuses work for me.
The first year was wonderful. In January, Mike and I were on the beach thinking about everyone freezing "back home." I loved Florida. Occasionally, we would entertain the idea of moving back, but then we would remind ourselves of the gray barrenness of winter and so, needless to say, the thought of returning home didn't last very long.
About six months ago, I got a not-entirely unexpected surprise: I was pregnant. We had known it was going to happen eventually, but to say my husband and I didn't quite plan on it happening so soon. In fact, it took about ten positive pregnancy tests to satisfy us. "Alright," I said to myself, "this is a good, joyous thing." Then, about two weeks later, the reality set in ... I wanted my mommy!!
Short of having a full-blown anxiety attack, I sat down with Mike and proceeded to, for lack of a better term, freak out. Above all others, my main concern was wondering how we were going to do this without family or friends. I was also very concerned about my child not being as close to my family as I would have liked.
Before we had moved to Florida, my brother and sister-in-law had their first child. I was one of the key babysitters, and when they wanted to go out -- which was fairly often -- our parents would help out. I developed a very strong bond with my niece because of how much time I spent with her. I was worried that my child would not have the same opportunity.
Another concern was of whether or not I was going to feel very lonely, since my husband was holding down two jobs for awhile. I wanted to be able to stay home with my baby, but I also wanted to be able to work. Not having anyone near to help out meant using daycare, and I really didn't think I wanted to do that. I liked the idea of a child being with family, not strangers, and, in addition, the expense of daycare can be great. However, why I didnšt just move back North is easily explained: cold, gray winter, where it gets dark at 4 p.m., would probably depress me as much as being away from everyone I know. So Florida it was.
Since finding out my news about being pregnant, I have visited New Jersey on different occasions. Once was near Thanksgiving time, and the dreary, cold weather certainly did have an effect on me. The happiness I felt when the plane touched down in Florida proved to me that this was where I wanted to be. I want the days to last long, I want to see palm trees and flowers every day, I want to play with my baby in the sand, whenever the mood strikes me. This is my personal paradise, and I've decided that, for now, it's better here for us and for our baby, because here is where I'm happy.
No matter where I live, I know that my family will mean as much to my child as they do to me. Yes, I miss them terribly at times I wish I could simply snowbird. But until that time arrives, I guess I'll just have one heck of a phone bill.
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