People have speculated on the idea of sex and where it will arrive in the 21st Century. With the internet so readily available and information at our fingertips there is not much left to the imagination or a good letter from Penthouse. Woody Allen provided his own theory on futuristic sex in his film, Sleeper. In the film people performed sex in an Orgasmatron, and no contact was involved. (The best joke came when Diane Keaton asked him if he wanted to perform sex and Woody replied he was not up to a performance but he would rehearse if she wanted to). Perhaps that is what will become of us as a society. Sex has been transformed and is no longer about romantic gestures and carving tools. It has become an action, an activity that must be-- or rather needs to be--performed usually on a lunch break. People are having sex simply to be able to say "I had sex today". (It tends to sound and for that matter look a lot better if said in some sort of Scandinavian language). Sex is no longer a caring notion and a display of love but rather an appointment that needs to be met. If we do not take time out of our schedules to revert back to the meaning of sex, we shall become a society in need of an Orgasmatron.

When I say that sex has become just another activity, I mean that sex is no longer what sex should be about. In that case, what is sex? And what should sex be about? Sex has always been the dirtiest four letter word using only three letters. Sex is reading your name in the newspaper and the word "wanted" doesn't appear in the article. Sex is getting the first five out of six numbers on your lotto ticket right and scratching the last one to see if you won. Sex is calling in sick to work and spending the day watching cartoons in the nude. Sex is eating oatmeal without a shirt and when you dribble some, rubbing it into your chest hair rather then getting a napkin. And finally, Sex is clipping your toenails and then sticking your pinky in your ear.

So maybe your definition doesn't add up to mine, but that just means you're doing it wrong. In fact the only people who are doing it right seem to be those two orthodox Jews and the sheet. They know why they're having sex and why they're doing it the way they're doing it (although I have heard that they don't use the good sheets but rather the ones they keep around the house for painting). They're having sex as a means of procreation. I guarantee you most people today have no idea why they're having sex with the exception of instant gratification before Ally McBeal comes on. And, Instant gratification can also be received through agreeing with the fortune in your fortune cookie.

So where does that leave sex in the future? Well, if we stick to the path we're on now sex usually falls right between dinner and Entertainment Tonight. Sex will become more and more impersonal to the point that we might be required to wear tags that say "Hi My Name Is....". Our schedules are so hectic these days that sex needs to be scheduled into our timetable by the secretary (now, if for any chance you're having sex with your secretary, you're already one step ahead). We might even end up simply paying someone else to have the sex for us, so we can keep working or fit in any number of other scheduled appointments. Perhaps sex will be more of a communal thing in order to fit in our obligation to see our neighbors as well. (At least it would liven up those PTA meetings).

In the old days sex and romance seemed to take on a different motive and for that reason a different result. Sure, having sex through a sheet sounds weird and removed but at least the reason for having it is assured. Today, people don't seem to have time for anything, sex included, where that will take us is anyone's guess although I'm sure it will result in a more impersonal and removed sexual experience (also it might involve a wrench of some kind). It has been said that people look for mates who remind them of their mothers, the same is true in Russia only there they look for mates who remind them of their mothers but look like their fathers. Quite honestly, this has nothing to do with the current state of sex in this country, I just thought that would be a cool way to end this article.