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February 2000 Issue, Volume 3

In Honor of Valentine's Day...

By Adam Harmon

Why's a nice Jewish boy thinking about one of "their" holidays, you ask? Well, St. Valentine's day is all about gifting people you love and, as a nice Jewish boy, I have a more-sensitive-than-Jesus stereotype to uphold. So, with all this flower stink and chocolate lush, I am glad to see all this red.

Since before we were hominid, people have looked to be adored by friends, family, and especially that special someone who stank just right enough to have us hoping to pick bugs off her head. On Valentine's Day we celebrate those we adore by sending cards, flowers, chocolate, whipped cream....that sort of thing.

I think that's nice, but only JUST nice. Since these are the types of gifts culture has determined that you should provide, these gifts are, a priori, devalued. You send flowers? "Duh!" You bought chocolate? "Boring!" You bought diamonds? "ŠOK, those I'll take." But for those of you out there who have little cash and even less credit, there are better ways than these same old same olds. Never let your love be shown in an ordinary way. With Valentine's Day, ONLY effort counts. So step beyond, poet your heart out, and thinking cap yourself to a more original expression, because otherwise all your going to say is "I was thinking of you" when what you want to say is "I Love You."

Keep in mind the origin of Valentine's Day. Back in the 3rd century, Emperor Claudius I of Rome , having problems recruiting men for his armies, decided that legions of men weren't volunteering simply because of their wives and families (Its always the women. Why DO we buy them flowers anyway?). So Claudius I outlawed marriage, and forced all those Italians to remain chaste (HA) until they found one of the few priests willing to risk death to perform the marriage ceremony. One of these renegades, Valentine, was found out and put to death on February 14th. A young daughter of a prison guard had been visiting with him daily. On the day of his death, he wrote her a short note of thanks for all the comfort she provided during his incarceration. The short note read, "Love, from your Valentine." Today, while mimicking Valentine's signature, we should also try to imitate his level of commitment and willingness to sacrifice in the name of love. He sacrificed himself for other people's love. I don't think it too much that we should geronimo a bit for our own.

Although contemporary relationships allow for more communication, I tend to think that all this sensitivity and understanding about the other's feelings and this inalienable right to feel as we feel has not actually made it easier for people to be more direct and honest with each other when it comes to the way that they feel. Now, if you are in one of those "comfortable" relationships, it is better to cookie cutter your speech and gift all Hallmark. But if you love, jettison inhibition and the thought that anything is forbidden. If you love, find the time to think extravagantly and purchase the opportunity to adorn the one you love in adoration.

In the middle ages, Valentine's Day was celebrated with youngsters wearing the name of their "lover", a person from the village chosen at random, on their sleeve. That tradition gave rise to the phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve." That tradition, full in fun and love, suggests, today, the importance of caution. Be careful, because when your heart is on your sleeve, you are vulnerable, you'll get hurt. Especially today, when we are free to choose and unchoose as we please, one should never regret fearing to be in reverie enraptured or being too meek to love her lands like a patriot. Wear out that heart borne on your sleeve because it was not born to be sheathed.

Adam Harmon is a writer living in Maine U.S.A.