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July 2001 Issue

A Wedding in Jerusalem: Spirituality in the Summertime

By Jill Suzanne Jacobs

I have an eerie connection to the current situation in Israel. I subscribe to an email service notifying me of airfare price changes.

When things calm down, prices go up. When there is a violent incident, the prices go down. The amount of dollars reduced depends on the number of lives lost. When a bomb went off in Jerusalem last week, but no one was hurt, prices went up. But after the Friday night blast in Tel Aviv, taking the lives of 19 young people, prices came down.

It took two days for the airline to register the impact, but sure enough on Sunday I received notice. Prices had dropped from $789 to $608. A difference of $181. A little less than $10 a life. That1s the impact on the airline industry.

And I have a wedding to attend this summer in Jerusalem. A few weeks ago, tickets were in excess of $1200. Now they are coming down closer to my price range. Another bombing like the last one, and I might be able to afford a flight.

"Come," my friend coaxes across the phone line, the miles, the hours, and the different lifestyles which separate us. We1re planning our wedding. It will be outside, under the waning crescent moon, it will be beautiful.

Really, he says, turn off the T.V. and radio, you won1t even know we are in the middle of a war.

A wedding in Jerusalem. Hope and love in the face of war. Mixing the bitter with the sweet. Such is the stuff our lives are made of, and the very history and way of the Jewish people. Summertime spirituality emphasizes this in a series of observances unknown to those outside of the most observant circles. The cycle begins with the 17th of Tammuz, falling this year July 8th. It ushers in a three-week semi-mourning period which culminates on the 9th of Av, falling this year July 29.

For those that observe, there is no swimming, no wearing of freshly-laundered clothes, and during the last nine days of the cycle, no eating meat, no drinking wine. Weddings, haircuts, eating fruit new to the season, and purchasing clothes and other goods, all are prohibited. The 17th of Tammuz marks the time in 70 CE when the Romans breached Jerusalem city walls. The city was under siege. Hope was lost as our people feared that the worst was yet to come.

I, like my people before me, am on the brink of despair. Dare I hope? Do I buy that ticket? Go to Jerusalem? I have another wedding that same week in Seattle. I live in Boston. So it is 3000 miles in the other direction. On a precipice, I vacillate, am torn.

So too, did our people live this way, nearly 2000 years ago. And then on the 9th of Av 70 CE the worst did happen as the Roman legions broke down the fortress and razed the Holy Temple. A million Jewish lives were lost. Death by fire and crucifixion. So many others were sold into slavery flooding the market, that the price of slaves fell throughout the empire.

It happened. The historian Josephus bore witness.

We mark the day by fasting, abstaining from wearing leather, reading the Book of Lamentations. In synagogue we sit on the floor, imitating the rituals of mourners. With the destruction of our Holy Temple in Jerusalem--the place of central worship--and the human carnage which came in its wake, it was feared that Judaism and the Jewish people was lost forever.

But of course it wasn't. A wise sage Yochanan Ben Zakkai snuck outside the walls of the city, reaching the emperor Vespasian and pleading, "give me Yavneh and it1s sages". And so an institute of Jewish learning was established. And although Judaism and the Jewish people were changed forever, we went on.

Six days later, under the light of the full moon on the 15th of Av--known as Tu B'Av--the holiday of love is celebrated. Our texts tell us that in ancient times young women wishing to marry would exchange garments (so that none would know who was richer or poorer) and dance outside the Jerusalem city walls, calling out to suitors. They called, young man, lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself. Set your eyes not on beauty, but on good family. A woman who fears God, she is to be praised.

Today Tu B1Av is time to exchange cards and flowers. A popular wedding date. And the time when we traditionally begin greeting each other with good wishes for the Jewish New Year. Another year, and time of rebirth and renewal is a mere six weeks a way from the day of Tu B1Av.

We are commanded to lift up our eyes, our hearts even. That is what this cycle of observance teaches, and indeed the glorious and bittersweet history of our people teaches as well.

Jewish tradition demands that if a wedding is planned, it may not be cancelled if it interrupts a period of mourning. The ruling is called, "simcha docheh et avel"--rejoicing takes precedence over mourning.

I take these lessons to heart. War. A wedding in Jerusalem. Another in Seattle. I take a look at my checkbook register. I read the news. I debate, I wonder, put off the decision.

And yet, through it all, I try to live up to what my tradition encourages, teaches, perhaps even demands. I place my happiness above my sadness, and look with hope to the future.

Jill Suzanne Jacobs holds a Master of Arts in Jewish Education from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, and lived for three years in Israel, mostly in Jerusalem. She now lives in Massachusetts and works at Jewish Family & Life!

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